Bar #4 is more like a club, you’re drunk, buzzing and ready for the night to get messy….
21. You’ve already made out with your crush and at least one other person
It doesn’t even matter anymore whose lips your smacking against. As long as they’re pretty and can kiss alright, they’ll do. The problem is you’re going from one to the other and getting severely confused.
22. You make friends for life, knowing you will never see them again after
You probably met them in the bathroom, somebody complimented the other one’s shoes and now you’re going on a girls’ holiday to Madrid next June.
23. The free shots are starting to make you feel sick
You’re starting to really doubt the contents of the little shots you’ve been drinking all night. You’ve had at least one conversation with someone about whether they were cheap whiskey, blueberry vodka or a crappy Sauvignon Blanc. Meanwhile, the pub crawl organizers are giggling ’cause they know it’s 80% apple juice.
24. You’re afraid they’ll leave to the last bar without
You keep losing one of five people that you want to go home with and you’re afraid that every-time you go to the toilet, you’ll lose everybody. You don’t know whether you just got to the bar, whether you’ve been here for hours or whether you’re about to leave.
25. You’re dancing like a crazy person
You don’t even remember when you started feeling drunk but now you’re blazing. The club is your dance partner and the night is your song.
26. The Pub Crawl organizers are so drunk, they don’t even know what’s going on anymore
Looking for leadership? Forget it. Nobody knows what bar it is, what day it is, what time of the year it is or whether anyone is making it home tonight.
27. You’re so drunk you’re doing stupid things but it doesn’t even matter
Stealing beers? Kissing random people? Interrupting conversations to tell strangers details about your private life or their appearance? “You know, you look like you could be famous one day.” “I was traveling in Berlin before this pub crawl.” “When is it time for McDonalds?” You are your own cringe fest, but the best thing is you won’t remember it in the morning.
28. Realizing you’ve had enough
The worst part of a pub crawl is realizing that it will end, and should end, very soon. Had too much to drink? Overcome with zeal for the person on your arm? Or just need to lie down ASAP? It’s time to go home.
29. The possible results of a Pub Crawl:
A: You get food
You’ve become too drunk-messy for sex. Hornyness has been substituted for a rumbling growl for food. And you’ll eat just about anything.
B: You barely get home
You’re so drunk but you know you have to escape the weirdos in the club and get your ass in bed. The night’s over, you’re exhausted. What ensues is a strange debacle of Google Maps, walking options, taxis and strange encounters. By the time you make it to your room, you’re so relieved and exhausted, its alright if you just fall asleep on the steps.
C: You go home with someone else
Aw yeah, you’ve done it! It’s probably not the original cutie from Bar #1, but you’re happy with your second choice. This one might even have a personality, if you’re lucky. Stumbling around trying to find keys and beds, you’re ecstatic to actually be having sex but you’d probably just settle for a cuddle.
D: All 3
Manage to bring new bae to get food? Get lost and stumble home? And, after all that, burping up your kebab, you manage to have sex?? You deserve a goddamn Pub Crawl medal.
30. You wake up the next morning not knowing what year it is
The first thing you do in the morning is drag yourself to the toilet. You manage to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Your hair has cultivated a tiny ecosphere of knots, there’s a bit of lettuce stuck on your chest and you’re covered in make up and sweat. You didn’t even manage to take off your clothes. But then, when you look down at your wrist- there’s the paper band that reminded you of what you did last night!
Looking for a Pub Crawl to go on? Check out our list of the Best Pub Crawls!