14 Things People Say to Redheads Abroad

1. “Are you from Ireland?”

In every bar that’s not in Ireland or the UK, you’ll be stereotyped for your ginger locks. Even though its socially unacceptable to assume Asian-looking people are from Asia or any olive-skinned beauty is South American: you’ll still get the Irish card every time you try and introduce yourself. No doubt, regardless of what nationality you actually are, you’ll be introduced to every Irish person in the bar because of it.

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2. “Can you even tan?”

Heading out to the beach in Greece? Want to go swimming in the States? Boat party in Thailand? Gingers can’t even step outside the door without having an onslaught of jokes. No, we won’t burn to a crisp if we catch some rays. And yes, we do tan (a little bit, shush). And omfg no we don’t have sunscreen to supply the entire group.

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3. “Is that your natural hair color?”

Can. You. Not. Tell. The. Difference?? After suffering through a ginger childhood of bullying and carrot head jokes, to have embraced the beauty and uniqueness of red hair in adulthood and now it’s mistaken for something that comes out of a bottle?? Are you kidding me??

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4. “Blue eyes? Green Eyes? That’s so rare!”

I mean, I’ve never been one to complain about beautifully tanned guys looking deep into my eyes, in love with both the hair color and the accentuated gleam of my eyes. Yes, it is rare, darling. So, so rare.

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5. “I bet you can drink a lot” 

This has landed me in trouble a lot. Just because our pale skin, freckles and auburn locks may affirm Irish or Scottish roots: not every redhead can hold 12 beers and expect to not keel over. I mean, we’ll still have a good go at it, though.

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6. “Does the carpet match the drapes?”

Are you looking for a fight?

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7. “I heard redheads are crazy…”

You’ve got that right. No redhead can shy away from this one. We can’t be held responsible for our mood swings, outbursts or aggression. It’s literally in our blood. So embrace it, or get out of the goddamn way.

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8. “Has anyone ever told you you look like ____??”

Lindsay Lohan, drunkenly trying to get into a cab after a night out? Isla Fisher, sexy and cute with her tits out? Jessica Chastain, like she’s just about to kill Bin Laden? Yeah, yeah- heard it before.

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9. “Is it true what they say about redheads?”

Which? Hot-tempered? Passionate? Moody? Amazing in bed? We can save Scotland with a bow and arrow? Or help our dorky friend defeat the Dark Lord? We can be all this, and so much more.

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10. “I’ve never slept with a redhead before”

How many ill-informed guys have come up to bars and said this seductively into a girl’s ear? Like we’re going to turn around and say, “aw that’s shan lad, let me help ya out”.

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11. “You are going extinct though, there’ll be none left in a few years.”

No, actually we’re fine. Nobody’s going to go extinct. But, you know what might go extinct? You. For saying dumb shit to redheads.

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12. “You must be a Weasley”

Red hair? And a hand-me-down robe? Be damn right I am.

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13. “Hey, look they have your drink!”

A Redhead Slut! In every hostel in the world they’re gonna have it. The aforementioned shot made up of: peach schnapps, Jagermeister and cranberry juice. I mean, we’re supposed to have it? Like if it was a ‘Blonde Whore’, every blondie in the bar better have one? I mean, we’ll take two (but we’re pretending to be offended, so you’re buying).

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14. “Wow, so fiery!”

On the one hand, I’ll blame my temper on my hair. But when other people blame my temper on my hair, it’s game on. We will end you.

You:

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Me:

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